You might hate me for it
But I see you
The real you
The one you pretend doesn’t exist
The one you try to hide from the rest of the world
And I think it terrifies you
It always has
And always will
Because you know with me there’s no lies
You know with me you can’t hide
Because
I
See
You
I was paid to write a poem for a friend’s mom for mothers day. Here’s the result…
Ever since I was just a little girl
You taught me to be strong and to be brave
to be sure of myself and what I believe.
You showed me how to make my cocoon,
then emerge as something beautiful,
spread my newfound wings and leave.
Each day I find myself flying higher
Up into the great big, blue sky
Becoming the butterfly you hoped I would achieve.
Everything I now know about being free
and about being a beautiful butterfly
I have learned it all from you.
Every day my love for you expanded
just like my brilliant wings.
Every day it stronger and stronger grew.
Watching you fly made me understand
made me know that I could spread my wings
and that someday I would fly, too.
The inside of my head
full of howling wind.
Full of words
and thoughts
so powerful
they threaten my very existence.
Little by little,
they tear at me,
effortlessly,
like plucking the petals
from a flower,
until I am naked
I bite down on my tongue until it bleeds,
filling my mouth with the venom
of all the hateful words I hold back –
of all the truths I keep myself from spewing out.
On the outside she’s calm
and collected
like a cool breeze
on a warm summer’s day;
but,
inside,
she is a howling,
twisted storm –
dark grey clouds
blanketing her soul.
I don’t want to be
just some faintly fading embers
of a memory
in the back of your mind.
I want to be the fire
that burned the hottest
and the brightest
and left a mark that challenged you
to change the fabric
of your very soul.
I want to be excruciating
And exquisite.
I want to be the one
you never forget.
I want
to be infinite.
Supernova
It feels as if it was not so long ago when my countless days had run together to become a dark and endless night.
Out of the black depths you came with an explosion, fast and furious, a blinding white light.
Your voice called out amidst the noise, greater than a wave of rolling thunder.
You grabbed my heart and pulled it up from the shadows that threatened to drag me under.
Hand in hand, we danced beneath a midnight sky blanketed with pure crystal stars.
We burned with a light hotter and brighter than the suns of the million galaxies and all their worlds were ours.
The ages came and went as they pleased, waxing and waning like the midnight moon.
The infinite black skies constantly calling out around us, singing that same familiar tune.
But we paid no mind to the worlds below; because, for us, all of time stood still.
And as the universes changed, one after the next, we would swear, “we never will.”
But even the stars that shine, as infinitely bright as we do, were not made to last forever.
We could never have known that, even then, the ties that bound us had already begun to sever.
In an unforeseen turn, you said you needed to set me free, and your explosion shattered the sky.
As I plummeted from the heavens, and fell upon the earth, I could not avert my eyes from watching as all that I loved seemed to die.
I stood staring at the skies, as you burned out, wishing for my return to your former grace.
And the light you once were turned to black, leaving a wake of rainbow radiation in your place.
Looking up at the night, the sky was dim and dull, devastated by the loss of you.
But in the dark void, faintly glittering specks, new stars slowly started to push their way through.
Though not as bright and glorious as you once were, they slowly healed me of my falling scars.
And as the early dawn broke, brilliant and new, once again I made my home there among the stars.
Persephone.
……….Stupid Whore.
………………..Foolish Girl.
How many times will you allow your Hades to rapture you?
……….Ravage you?
……………….Rape you?
How many times before you say enough?
How many times before you send him away –
……….Back to the underworld for all eternity –
…………………Back to where he belongs?
The frost covered window panes
are gilded iron bars
trapping me here.
Rotting and fading away.
Never free to fly.
Never even just to breathe
without the constant reminder
that this house is my prison.
The light of the other houses in the neighborhood is warm.
Inviting.
It beckons me to escape
and draw near;
but,
I’m sure each of those families,
in their little homes
feels trapped
in a prison of their own making
I am like Icarus
and you are the sun.
Is it worth the risk?
Is it worth falling?
and falling?
Is it worth it if it means I get to fly,
to bask in your warmth
and light,
even if only for a moment
just to be beside you?
Tell me dear sun,
if I take my wings
and fly into your sky
will you burn me
once again?
A Heart of Grace 