Fear Not

God has given me these big crazy dreams. And I found myself questioning, “Is it okay to fear failure? Is it okay to wonder if you’ll live up to those expectations? Is it okay to question how He could possibly fulfill all the wonderful, crazy, huge, seemingly impossible desires He’s placed in your heart? Is it okay to be afraid?”

Well… The first thing that came to my mind was a quote…

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Here are just a few examples:

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Luke 12: 22-34 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not be afraid about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. 32 Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 10: 26-31 So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[b] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

So, the short answer…no. It is not okay to live life in fear. Whether that be fear of failure, success, or anything in-between. Time and time again, God’s word tells us not to be afraid. It tells us that He will take care of us and provide for us.

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It is so easy for people to just say “don’t be afraid;” but, how do you get over that fear? How do you move passed it?

First, it is important to understand where fear comes from. While discussing the topic with my mother she brought up the point that “Fear and trust go hand in hand. When you don’t trust God and have faith in Him, it is hard to let go of your fear. You have to learn to trust that He has your best interests at heart.”

Which is exactly the point in the conversation where I went “so, how the heck do you do that?”

And I thought about it. And thought about it. And thought about it some more. And everything that I came up with boiled down into three words: faith, friends, & fight.

Faith

Spending time in communication with God and growing your faith is the best way to learn to trust Him. There are plenty of ways you can do this: spend time at church, spend time alone in prayer and worship, read your Bible, and spend time in fellowship with other Christians. Each of these things are equally important in my book. You can’t have a well-rounded faith without each of these components.

Why is faith important?

2Tim

Because without a foundation in faith, it is easy to let the fear take over. It is easy to not understand WHY you, as Christians, do not HAVE to live your lives in fear. You have been made conquerors in Him. You have been made fierce warriors. And in claiming your place as His sons and daughters you claim victory over death and fear. And in doing so, you can cling to His promise that if you “delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Friends

Strikingout

I once heard an analogy for friends that described the two types of people in the world. There are the people who “fill your bucket” and the ones who are constantly “putting holes in your bucket.” The former of these two are the friends who encourage you, support you, and push you to be better. These are the ones who will help you go after and achieve your dreams – the kind of friends who will encourage you to “swing for the fence”. The latter, well…they are emotional vampires. They suck away your time and energy with things that drain you. They are discouraging, depressing, and fearful. They are the ones constantly reminding you about the possibility that you will strike out.

Now which of these types of friends do you think are going to push you to live outside your comfort zone, go beyond your fear, and live life to the fullest? And now which one do you want to fill your life with?

Fight

f e a r

We’ve all heard of the fight or flight response, right? Well the same thing is true of living your dreams. You can fear your dreams and run away from them. Or you can rise to the challenge, you can fight for them, you can make a plan and stick to it, and you can give yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Thoreau

In the end, you can live in fear or live the dream. The choice is yours.

3:09 AM

3:09 am
The insomnia has taken over…
…my body restless and fidgeting even though it is weary and sore and tired.
The add refuses to let my mind rest…
…thoughts swirling and twirling and dancing through my mind in a constant and devastating stream of insanity and chaos.
The ocd demands I get up and scrub every inch of the apartment…
…until my fingers are raw and bleeding and my manicure ruined yet again.
I refuse it,
but that just makes it angrier…
…and it flourishes until it turns into a feeling of overwhelming anxiety.
I deny anything is wrong.
I pretend that I’m fine…
…most of the time anyway.
Sometimes I even start to believe that lie.
Sometimes I even start thinking it would be possible for me to be okay;
but, then, reality sets in and I know that’s not true.
Physically exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed I feel myself becoming more and more irritable.
I’m ready to snap at a moments notice.
Just one more thing…
…just one more straw upon my back…
…and I will break for sure.
I already feel broken anyway;
so what difference would it make?
I am desperate for sleep…
…desperate for silence.
I find neither tonight…
…like most nights.
My mind and my words ramble endlessly.
I look for a sign or a signal to tell me it’s okay to stop,
to stop writing,
thinking,
over thinking,
feeling,
breathing…
but it never comes.

Unfinished 8/24

You’ve given me all these crazy dreams
And they’re just so much bigger than I am.
You’ve told me that I can fly
But right now I barely have the strength to stand.

But how can I let it go
And I trust in something I can’t see?
How can I know you’re there
And that you’ll catch me?

You gave me your word, your promises
But they feel so far, far away
And you called my heart to love you
Though it always seems to stray

Hey There Tiger

Hey There Tiger,

Today has been a rough day for me. And more than anything in the world I wish you were around for me to share things with you. I wrote you a letter before this one “Letter to the One Who Always Finds His Way Back To Me.” And when I wrote that one, I realized some small part of me will always believe that. Some small part of me is always going to hope you will find a way back to me.

But today is bad. It hurts so much more than I could have ever imagined. And the reason it hurts so much is because its slowly not hurting anymore. The fact that songs we loved now no longer make me happy or sad but apathetic kills me. The places we used to go no longer hold any meaning to me. The thoughts of you fade. The dreams we shared are now being formed without you. And letting go and letting it not hurt anymore is probably hurting me more than I let on and more than I allow myself to feel. I know someday it will all come back to haunt me. Maybe sooner. Maybe later. But I’m sure in time it will.

❤ A