Looking at my life it’s not difficult to see that it’s a good life; so, I wonder, why do I feel so discontent and unhappy?
I have a family and a husband that would do anything for me and loves me more than I could put into words. I have friends that appreciate and respect me for who I am. I have a decent job that is leading me one step closer to my dream. I have a cat that clearly adores and needs me. I am in relatively good health all things considered. I have a nice little apartment that doesn’t cost too much and is in a decent location. I have a car that is reliable enough to get me from point a to point b without me even having to think twice about it. I am completing the last few classes of my undergrad degree. I am blessed with a gift for writing and singing. And most importantly, I have an ever growing relationship with my Heavenly Father, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.
I asked myself why do I consistently feel depressed and alone and as if I am desperately trying to keep my head above the water? Well… It finally hit me… Even with all those positive things going on in my life, there is so much negativity constantly fighting to be the center of my attention. It has won that battle for far too long; so, it is time for things to change.
I will be taking a step back from the people, places, and things that make me feel the sense of overwhelming negativity that has plagued me as of late. I apologize to those of you that may be affected by this. If I am distant, please do not think that I do not care about you or the things you may be struggling with; but rather understand and support that I am focusing on my own struggles and what I need to do to conquer them. Or better yet, consider it a challenge! Think of it as my way of challenging you to focus on being happy and positive in your own life. Think of it as my way of challenging you to let go of the negativity and embrace a spirit of joy and thankfulness.
Happiness is a choice. And I am choosing it now.
A Heart of Grace 