Breathe

Deep breaths they tell you.
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
Just let it go…
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat and repeat again.
Oh yes,
because that’s really going to help…
letting me breathe and find clarity,
clarity enough to think straight,
to overthink,
to allow my thoughts to wander
to those deep
and ever so dark recesses
in the very back of my mind,
to allow myself to think about all those things –
things I’ve hidden away,
about all the things
I don’t really want to think about,
things I would rather forget,
things I would rather pretend
didn’t exist at all,
things I wish never happened.
Clearly,
all I need
is to breathe.

Letters

It has been over three years since my divorce was finalized and I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life. I am ready to move forward and shut the chapters of my past. They have haunted me for far too long. They have consumed parts of my heart, mind, and spirit that deserve to be free. I am learning to let the past be gone and the future be free and clear to do whatever God has planned for me.

puzzle pieces and love letters

I have always said that a girls heart is like a box that has a puzzle inside. She gives it to a boy and he takes the puzzle out, he plays with it, then he gives it back, and its almost always missing pieces when she gets it back. And so she gives it to someone else who plays with it and gives it back with pieces missing again. Sometimes she is able to get the pieces back later and sometimes the pieces are lost forever.

I have come to realize that for me one of the best ways to reclaim my lost and stolen pieces is by writing letters to the loves of my past. I need to begin a new writing series, letters to my lovers, to help clear my head and my heart and open myself to the future that could be ahead of me.