Peter Pan

I was a lost girl
Looking for something
You stole my heart
When you took my hand

You were a lost boy
Refused to grow up
Run far away now
Far far away without a plan

I was your Wendy Darling, darlin
And you were my Peter Pan
Cause we’d fly away into the skies
And off to Neverland

I was your young love
A new adventure
Falling fast and hard
We didn’t stand a chance

You were an old soul
In a bedtime story
Heard it a thousand times
But til you didn’t understand

I was your Wendy Darling, darlin
And you were my Peter Pan
Cause we’d fly away into the skies
And off to Neverland

I was a fearless dreamer
Always looking forward
I said come with me
Let’s forget where we began

You were a reckless flight risk
Always looking backward
At all the things
That we already outran

I was your Wendy Darling, darlin
And you were my Peter Pan
Cause we’d fly away into the skies
And off to Neverland

But even fairytales have an ending
Though its not always happily ever after
So, Peter, next time you take to the skies
Don’t forget me, don’t forget me, don’t forget Neverland

Cause, I was your Wendy Darling, darlin
And you were my Peter Pan
Cause we’d fly away into the skies
And off to Neverland

 

(Cover Image credit zzoffer on DeviantArt)

I See You

You might hate me for it

But I see you

The real you

The one you pretend doesn’t exist

The one you try to hide from the rest of the world

And I think it terrifies you

It always has

And always will

Because you know with me there’s no lies

You know with me you can’t hide

Because

I

See

You

I. Regret. Nothing.

I have loved you with all that I am,
with every fiber of my being;
and,
when that moment comes,
and it is time for me to take my last breath,
I can go confidently saying

I.

Regret.

Nothing.

Asphyxiating Lie

There’s so many things
I keep wanting to say;
but, then all of my words
they just get in the way.
Could you possibly still love me
if you could only see
all the twisted dark things
that grow deep within me?
My heart is filled with fear
and my mind clouded by doubt
terrified I cannot withstand your judgement
of what is threatening to break out.
If you saw the ever terrible;
yet, wonderful trainwreck hidden within
would you love the beautiful mess
or condemn me in my sin?
So these thoughts remain hidden
locked away and buried deep,
never seeing daylight’s glow,
they’re my dark secrets to keep.
You ask me what is wrong
musing over my furrowed brow;
but, even that subtle little tell
is more than I had meant to allow.
I deny it adamantly,
telling you whatever you want to hear,
while I’m simply drowning,
suffocating in my own fear.
I’ve long realized it is easier
to tell that asphyxiating lie
than to let it all come flooding back
and let you make me cry

One

Our hearts were one.

They weren’t “as one”
or “like one”
they simply
“were”.

They were so intimately,
delicately,
definitively intertwined
that they had fused together
and become one entity –
one living,
beating heart.

That sound –
your heart,
my heart,
our heart made –
thrumming heavily in my ear
was inexplicable perfection.

I craved it.

I needed to lie beside you
and feel our pulse
coursing through me,
to feel us as one being.

But without explanation
or warning
it was torn apart.

No delicate surgeons hands
to uncomplicate
and untangle the mess.

Just searing,
white hot pain
that consumed every fiber
of what was
and ripped it to shreds,
leaving nothing
but a bloody
and mangled mess lying in my bed.

Now,
if we should pass out on the street
I don’t think we would even recognize one another.

Our hearts
no longer beating together as one heart,
unable to see
or feel each other,
left searching for that missing piece
it knows we once had.

How exquisite the pain of loss;
how intensely overwhelming.

And I cannot help but wonder,
do you feel it, too?
Does your heart ache with that same loss?
If you knew you had half of your heart
still here
in my chest,
would you come back to claim
and keep us,
returning our heart again?

He was right

He wrote without hesitation
“I like your train wreck
it’s some how wonderful”
As she read his message a smile blossomed from ear to ear
And a soft simple blush crept over her cheeks
She thanked God, and her lucky stars, that he couldn’t see her in that very tender moment.
He was right;
he always was.
She was a terrific mess of emotions,
unable to contain herself,
undeniably and easily overwhelmed at times;
and, she threw walls up left and right –
emotional barricades
meant to keep everyone out,
to keep everyone and anyone from getting just a little too close;
but, never him.
He always saw right through it all,
through the emotions,
through the walls,
through the plastic smiles masking the pain
and through the unnecessary tears when she couldn’t reconcile her, sometimes too-often overwhelming, emotions with reality.
It was funny how a simple message could be so bluntly honest,
and so revealing,
so telling
of the mess she was;
and yet, it was so intimate,
so sweet,
sweet enough just enough to make her remember exactly why she had loved him all those years ago.
He would tell her when she was being crazy.
If anyone else had said it she would have been furious –
not with him though.
With him, she would ponder,
only for a brief moment,
sigh contently,
nod in agreement,
then concede,
admitting he was right.
He was patient,
loving,
supportive
even in the midst of her deepest, darkest hour.
Though the years had passed,
and many things had changed,
he still had that way with her.
He could tell her
she was a train wreck
and she knew he was still right;
but, now she owned it,
owned herself,
and she had him to thank for that.

Monster monster

My green eyed jealousy devours me
Thinking of you with anyone else.
Your hands on her hips
Your lips on her mouth
Your words whispered in her ear
The monster takes me over
And it is all consuming.

This town

This town

Every inch of this town is covered in memories of you. They are bittersweet. Like a sour patch candy melting on my tongue. So sour it makes me cringe in pain then fading to find a sweetness I relish. And just like you, the memory is gone, fading uneasily from my mind.

But it’s so hard to forget when everywhere I go is a reflection of you. In the rear view mirror just like yesterday I see those eyes clearest of clear blue. And in that moment my heart was so easily melted just like it used to. But that was then, and it is no more, because this town is just a reflection of you.

Infinite

I don’t want to be
just some faintly fading embers
of a memory
in the back of your mind.

I want to be the fire
that burned the hottest
and the brightest
and left a mark that challenged you
to change the fabric
of your very soul.

I want to be excruciating
And exquisite.

I want to be the one
you never forget.

I want
to be infinite.

Supernova

Supernova

It feels as if it was not so long ago when my countless days had run together to become a dark and endless night.

Out of the black depths you came with an explosion, fast and furious, a blinding white light.

Your voice called out amidst the noise, greater than a wave of rolling thunder.

You grabbed my heart and pulled it up from the shadows that threatened to drag me under.

Hand in hand, we danced beneath a midnight sky blanketed with pure crystal stars.

We burned with a light hotter and brighter than the suns of the million galaxies and all their worlds were ours.

The ages came and went as they pleased, waxing and waning like the midnight moon.

The infinite black skies constantly calling out around us, singing that same familiar tune.

But we paid no mind to the worlds below; because, for us, all of time stood still.

And as the universes changed, one after the next, we would swear, “we never will.”

But even the stars that shine, as infinitely bright as we do, were not made to last forever.

We could never have known that, even then, the ties that bound us had already begun to sever.

In an unforeseen turn, you said you needed to set me free, and your explosion shattered the sky.

As I plummeted from the heavens, and fell upon the earth, I could not avert my eyes from watching as all that I loved seemed to die.

I stood staring at the skies, as you burned out, wishing for my return to your former grace.

And the light you once were turned to black, leaving a wake of rainbow radiation in your place.

Looking up at the night, the sky was dim and dull, devastated by the loss of you.

But in the dark void, faintly glittering specks, new stars slowly started to push their way through.

Though not as bright and glorious as you once were, they slowly healed me of my falling scars.

And as the early dawn broke, brilliant and new, once again I made my home there among the stars.